Help
Sign In
dying
September 2007 
Coping with grief during the Holidays
Posted on Dec 21st, 2005
by 
Kriss
Kriss
Let's face it; most of us react to some form of grief at this time of year.
For some, the grief may be a reaction to Holiday consumerism, no longer a time to consider Spirit, but a time when people are considering the best gift to buy someone who has everything.
It's also a time when people who live alone may feel even more alone after viewing images all around them showing family and friends sharing laughter and gifts.
If you've lost a loved one, or are caring for someone who is dying, this time of year is especially difficult. One thing to remember is that the date of the Holiday isn't what's important, but the spirit of the Holiday. Many families I've worked with chose to celebrate the Holiday on a day when their loved one felt best, and when people could visit.
It's important to do what is comfortable for you. If you have children, be sure to communicate how you're feeling at this time in a language they'll understand, and be open to how your children are reacting as well. Remember that children learn how to cope with grief from watching adults.
If you need support, contact me at 310-508-5544.
For some, the grief may be a reaction to Holiday consumerism, no longer a time to consider Spirit, but a time when people are considering the best gift to buy someone who has everything.
It's also a time when people who live alone may feel even more alone after viewing images all around them showing family and friends sharing laughter and gifts.
If you've lost a loved one, or are caring for someone who is dying, this time of year is especially difficult. One thing to remember is that the date of the Holiday isn't what's important, but the spirit of the Holiday. Many families I've worked with chose to celebrate the Holiday on a day when their loved one felt best, and when people could visit.
It's important to do what is comfortable for you. If you have children, be sure to communicate how you're feeling at this time in a language they'll understand, and be open to how your children are reacting as well. Remember that children learn how to cope with grief from watching adults.
My friend Dr. Ken Doka, Senior Consultant at the Hospice Foundation of America, has great advice for people who are dealing with grief issues during the Holidays.
Some people find it helpful to be with family and friends, emphasizing the familiar. Others may wish to avoid old sights and sounds, perhaps even taking a trip. Others will find new ways to acknowledge the season.
Plan for the approaching holidays. Be aware that this might be a difficult time for you. It's not uncommon to feel out of sorts with the celebratory tone of the season. The additional stress may affect you emotionally, cognitively, and physically; this is a normal reaction. It is important to be prepared for these feelings.
Recognize that holidays won't be the same. If you try to keep everything as it was, you'll be disappointed. Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the change while preserving continuity with the past. Different menus, changing decorations, attending a different service, or even celebrating in a different location may provide that slight but significant shift. However, be aware that your feelings will still be there. If you decide on a change, be careful not to isolate yourself.
The holidays may affect other family members. Talk over your plans. Respect their choices and needs, and compromise if necessary. Everyone (including yourself) should participate in ways that are comfortable.
Avoid additional stress. Decide what you really want to do, and what can be avoided. Perhaps cards don't need to be sent, or shopping can be done by phone or catalog.
Do the right thing: not what others think is right, but what you need and want to do.
If you need support, contact me at 310-508-5544.
Access: Public
This is awesom! Idea: Add keywords to your “tag” option when you’re creating/editing your blog post. That wayt, we can intelligently categorize and find blog posts on different subjects and share them with our community!